The Manager: Chapter 1

“It smells like gas…”

The Manager: “What smells like gas?…The spaghetti sauce on the walls?”

“from the explosion!”

The Manager: ” What explosion?”

On my way to my first coffee of the day

Just another day in the life of a building manager… Another day in “Paradise”

My name is Pete… I manage buildings and these are the stories from the past 18 years of managing buildings in San Francisco. I may end up living in the streets if my company gets wind of this, but I have to tell my story.

I began back in circa 1990 year of our vengeful Lord. I was driving hack and just trying to fly under the radar. We lived in the Western Addition iin a 12 unit building.

The manager at the time was a Hop Head speed freak/Crackhead and thief. The residents of the  building were getting pretty sick of the whole deal. The building was owned by a greedy/stingy Russian overlord. Shitty down to the bone.

The manager finally got busted and the building folk decided in mass that I would be the manager, although I was flattered that they would think of me in such a light, I was very reluctant to get involved in such an endeavor. I finally agreed and the local folk rejoiced…I was the “Great and Wonderful Wizard of Oz!”

One of my first experiences was with a “CrackHead” chasing me up the stairs  with a gun after I let her know that the Overlord had planned to evict her for not paying rent and running a brothel. The next day she apologized and tried to have sex with me in her livingroom with no furniture…It was tempting but too scary, so I fled. She gave me a big hug when she moved and apologized for trying to shoot me…

It was then I knew I needed to get myself and “My Lady”  to a different neck O’ the woods!

Shortly after that incident we had a Romanian convict and a Russian pedophile move into the building and started renting out cubicles (they had subdivided their apartment into individual sleeping quarters) to kids they would pick up on polk street. Drug dealing was rampant. We had a huge bloody knife fight that woke us up in the middle of the night…needless to say we were gone within 24 hours.

On to our next venture…

More to come…