Dark Matter

Original note from tenant

In the far flung Universe there is  but one force that binds all things together. Scientist’s have spent years and even lifetimes searching for this “Dark Matter” Little did these soldiers of science realize or even imagine that this great discovery could be directly under their noses!

They may have even smelled it from time to time with out ever knowing their “Eureka” was hidden in plain sight, with in their wanton grasp.
Little do they know but I the “Manager” of lowly accommodation and in common vicissitudes have arrived at the grandest of epiphanies! The “Holy Grail”; the ultimate discovery of the Universe…Ladies and Gentleman I bring you “Kitty Litter!” It is the Anti-matter, the force that defies gravity and keeps all matter from spiraling downward as it should.

As I write this soliloquy, Plumber number two is defying “God” and painstakingly trying to unbind that superglue of “Mother Nature” as the residue gently sifts down to pipes below and blocks up the each and every drain below.

This is what Building Managers call…”Plumbing Hell”

The other bad element is “hair!” Human or animal. Usually by way of the toilets. Toilets deliver debri directly to the main soilstack. Once you’ve clogged the soil stack you’ve clogged the whole building and it becomes an emergency.

What will only only make matters worse is if Mr. Einstein decides to play super hero and dump draino down the drain which in turn will eat right through the cheap plumbing that the previous plumbers install to further their grand scheme of planned obselesance as an investment in future repair costs!

If you want to keep your own Mr. Roper happy:

A. No! Kitty litter down the drain.
B. No! Hair down the drain.
C. Please never stuff or plunge body parts down the sink… Forgetaboutit and save those for the fishing trip.

Plumbers Butt